In its earliest form it was just to get ‘on’ the water. Big water. It wasn’t about journeying to tropical isles or to the
I dreamed of escaping to the
sea. At one point it was to solo the
Atlantic, then it was boosted by reading Thor Heyerdahl’s adventure on the Kon
Tiki, a reading counselor exposed me to the writings of C.S. Forester and I began
to walk the decks with Lt. Hornblower as he sailed in the defense of mother England .
Mutiny on the Bounty? I was enthralled
by Captain Blights 3618 mile open boat escape more than in the charms of
Fletcher Christians ladies of Pitcairn Island .
Small boats began to capture my nautical wanderlust. 22 footers around Cape Horn . The dream was to get on the ocean, challenge
and test myself against its power, its whims and all its mysteries. I craved
going offshore! My dream allowed me to embrace the customs of daily life with a
smile on my face and some pep-in-my-step. It was a constant companion, a friend
who never whined, asked for favors or demanded anything from me.
Last Wednesday started out pretty
normal here in Columbus .
I was working off of a 12 foot ladder when my ‘Dreams’ wake-up call came
through. It was broadcast on USPS’ Sail Angle mass email.
Seeking crew to sail south – full trip or
part way
A Buzzards Bay
Sail and Power Squadron (D14) member’s son-in-law is looking for crew to help
him sail his newly re-commissioned Swan 441 south. …..He’s an experienced ocean sailor, so
there’s no worry about going to sea with an amateur who has “more dollars than
sense” He’ll take any help he can get, either for the entire trip or partway.
He’d like to head for Bermuda if he can get enough crew but will settle for Miami . …. Leaving next
week.
In the amount of time it took my brain to read and comprehend the above message, I realized that my ‘Dream’ had finally arrived! It immediately changed from being a fantasy to a ‘Reality.’
My ‘Dream’ now looked like this.
An offshore voyage with a very seasoned skipper, heading to the romantic isle
of Bermuda ! All I had to do was get to Cape Cod , throw my gear below, pull my weight and my
life-long dream was realized. Cape Cod to Bermuda, or at least, Miami ! My ‘Dream’ didn’t
look half bad in it final form. I can finally get underway on this long-awaited
adventure.
Imagine, a free offshore voyage
in a well founded 44 foot Swan, and let me tell you, a Swan is a very nice
sailboat. At the helm is a well-seasoned, licensed, ocean-going, knowledgeable
skipper who has just finished refurbishing it. He was so confident in his
abilities that he was reaching out to the ‘general boating public’ to gather
together a crew of complete strangers. H-m-m-m-m. My mind, also known as
‘Reality’ immediately put up ‘Storm Warning’ flags. Going offshore in a
new-from-the-yard boat, with a green crew of total strangers, in November
sailing due south of Cape Cod, across the Gulfstream to Bermuda ….sounds
like fun. Doesn’t it? Or does it? What normal Captain would want to do that?
There was something like a prize fight being fought inside of my head. My ‘Dream’ and ‘Reality’ were battling. My ‘Dream’ would lead with a left jab ‘it’s a 44 foot Swan’ argument and then ‘Reality’ would block with ‘the boats fresh from the yard with no shakedown cruise.’ Shuffling right the ‘Dream’ would feint with “the skipper has 150,000 offshore miles under his belt” and ‘Reality’ would dance away with ‘if he’s so experienced why doesn’t he already have his own crew; why is he reaching out to a bunch of strangers?’ It went on and on, blow after blow, strike and counter strike, jab and move. ’Dream’ would throw a hard overhand punch and the ‘Reality’ would shake it off. ‘Beautiful
I came to the conclusion that
while I wanted to say yes to my ‘Dream’ the ‘Reality’ of my mind was screaming
NO! I had cherished this dream in its
‘illusionary’ form, had looked forward to it as an ultimate test of my sailing
ability, but found it’s ‘reality’ too
much for my mind to embrace. It was easy while it was just ‘A Dream.’
Isn’t it ironic that after fifty
years of dreaming I now yearn for the boring life my parents lived? On dry
land.