Sharks That Swim On Land

Women, always women, prowling like Great Whites searching for the next great meal. Either singularly or in schools, they cruise the waters of the mall searching for their next kill. All different types of Great Whites; young, old, short, tall, big, skinny, shy, aggressive… they all collectively, instinctively move, searching for the scent of a bargain. Some just cruise and others, having already picked up the scent, move with speed and alacrity, to the prey.  

An item at 50% off! Buy Two and Get 50 Free! Store Coupons! Managers Special! Oh, the intense, and machine gun rapid, synapses that occur in the Great Whites brain, the increased heart rate, the dilated pupils, the shortness of breath, the sweating of palms, the sense of potential loss of prey until it’s finally yours.  

How satisfied the Great White is as it slowly takes it purchases and moves away from the checkout….moving back into the cruising stream of the mall traffic, yet knowing the next deal is just a step away; mall cruising. Slowly moving thru the crowds of other Great Whites, not paying any particular attention to them, yet with ears sharply attuned for any overheard talk of a ‘Great Deal or 2 for 1.’ Eyes aggressively searching, brain attuned to any stimuli that screams ‘bargain’ which immediately sends a signal to their lower extremities ordering them to swish their hips in that direction, pace quickening, nostrils flaring as they close in on the scent trail of the offer…like any great hunter, they don’t rush in, yet aren’t shy about pushing in for the kill.  

And the mall prey, unlike the aquatic variety that flees and hides, shout, scream actually to be eaten. Stores hang posters on their windows proclaiming everything in the store at 30 to 70% off, Buy 2 and get 3rd free!, their pilot fish offer food parcels for tasting and perfumes for spritzing…in short they prostrate themselves in front of the salivating Great Whites. They want to be devoured.  

Yet, when it’s all over and done, and the Great White returns to her family unit where all the details of the hunt must be shared with her male partner. How the hunt went, what dens she visited, the kills she made and so on with a great smile and sense of inner peace coming from the Great White as she gushes,  

“ WE got this darling little number for 30% off and I had a store coupon for another 10% off and if I opened a store credit card, which I HAD to do, I got another 15%...it ended up costing US only …. Well, it was practically FREE! “ 

Oh, the joy of being a shark that swims on the land