Automatic Dock Cleat Hooker

There are a bunch of conveniences for the boat that I’d like to have, except some of them haven’t been invented yet. I’ve been making a list:

It certainly would be convenient and less embarrassing if, when I get close to the dock I’d like to be able to press a button, have an arm reach out and grab the cleat I’m aiming for and then attach the mooring line. Then move to the stern and repeat. I can take care of the springs and breast lines.

When I’m ready to take off the boat cover I’d like to release the snaps and then just clap my hands and the cover would fold itself up and rest quietly on the stern so that I could put it away. They can do it for light fixtures, why not boat covers.

It would be wonderful to have a set of automatic fender‘extenders and retractors.’ Upon approaching a pier, dock or lock wall you’d just hit a button and two, or more depending upon how many times you pressed the button, fenders would pop out and then drape themselves in the proper position, at the correct height, to protect the hull. Upon getting underway you’d just have to reverse the process. Sure would make docking a little less frantic for our wives.

I think that there should be a beverage dispenser someplace close to the helmsman’s station. Featuring icy cold water, Gatorade, coke, maybe even sunscreen. You know how hard it is to reach the cooler while keeping one hand on the wheel while tearing down the lake at 25 miles an hour? They got the fuel system down pat; just adapt the technology to a multi-tap dispenser. And it would make the first mate happy so that she doesn’t have to put down the book they’ve been reading to get you a drink.

Speaking of the helmsman’s station I’d like a dashboard organizer that actually worked. I’ve tried everything short of putting Velcro on every piece of gear that goes up there; sunglasses, binoculars, sunscreen, charts, cell phone, hat, etc.  Every time we hit a wave or take a sharp turn I go into this wild arm gyration dance trying to catch everything before it tumbles down the companionway. Tried the Velcro idea but do you know the pain it causes when you put the binoculars to your eyes and the Velcro catches your eyebrows?

Every trailer boat should come equipped with a bilge plug fail-safe system that locks the brakes of the trailer if it’s not installed within 15 feet of any body of water. Like they have on the cars, you can’t get them in gear if your foot isn’t on the brake! Same concept. They could call it “Is the plug in the hole or you don’t go!”

I can’t talk anymore. I’ve got to call LegalZoom to get my patents going!